Are You a Jealous Writer?

From Writerslife.org:

A common problem that many writers have to deal with is jealousy. When we hear of another writer’s success, of how their self-punished book just snowballed in terms of sales and they are now one of the top sellers on Amazon, or how they only sent their manuscript off to one publisher who picked it up immediately, or how their blog got scouted by someone who now wants to turn it into a novel.

For most writers writing is a bit of a slog. We put hours and hours of time in - not to mention the blood, sweat and tears it takes to finish and book, and, for the most part, get very little in return.

However, letting jealousy get the better of you can impair your writing and block your own path to success, so making sure you recognize when jealousy is getting in the way is very important.

So what are the telltale signs that the green-eyed monster is rearing its ugly head? Let's take a look.

You can’t stop comparing yourself to others.

When it comes to most things in life, comparing yourself to others will get you nowhere. You have your own life to lead, your own challenges to face. All writers are different, all have something to offer, and all have unique and exciting stories to tell. Focus on yourself and what you want to achieve and don’t let the success of others become a barrier to getting there.

You disengage on social media.

If you can’t bear to look at other writers social media accounts or refuse to like or share success stories because you feel too jealous, you know you are letting it get the better of you. Writer’s need to celebrate one another - if you hit the big time you’d want that too. So remember to be gracious and positive and try to see that if another writer has made it, it only shows you that it’s possible for you too.

You feel like giving up.

When you hear of other writer’s success, does it make you want to pack writing in altogether? If so you are on a path of self-sabotage, and you need to get off it pronto! Everyone needs to go at their own pace, and if writing is what you love, then you should stick to it no matter what.

You start bad mouthing other writers.

If you find yourself so full of jealousy that you start bringing other writers down or bad mouthing them you need to take a good long look at your motivations for doing so. You might not care for their style of writing or enjoy their story, but apparently enough people did to make them successful, and it’s important to accept that.

You blame it all on being unlucky.

Sure it feels like some people put entirely no effort in and suddenly they are a famous, world- celebrated author. But that’s incredibly rare. For the most part, luck plays a very minimal role in the success of authors, and it’s hard work, strategic thinking and passion that really gets you places.

Jealousy us a hugely unpleasant emotion, and while it can be a struggle for writes not to feel jealous of their fellow compadres, it is far better to accept their success with grace, (even if you do feel like it was all a fluke). Doing so means you can waste no time on this pointless emotion and then get your nose back to the grindstone, focus on your own goals and celebrate your own success instead.

I must admit I have been prone to jealousy of others for various things. If I can say I'm guilty of one of the Seven Deadly Sins, it would be Envy.

As far as jealousy of other writers goes, there haven't been too many around me that I have met, so not a lot of a jealousy in that area. But for those already published,  I have sometimes felt I could never be as good as they are. I felt I ddi not have as good a depression story as others who have written on the topic and have been published. I felt I could not top Prozac Nation or that my story was not as interesting as that of the book's author. But does being a Harvard alumna make her story more interesting than others on a smiler topic? No, I came to realize. It's just part of who she was and her experience. I also came to learn that everyone has their own story to tell even if it's on a  topic that has been written bout more than once. I have now been eager to hear other stories on this topic from different people, such as this one. I decided that I can say something on the topic, too and that someone may one day see my story as interesting as those that already exist. 

One must keep in mind that many of the best writers have been rejected toms point, some more than once, before they were finally accepted. I've never head the Harry Potter books, but been made well aware that the author was rejected many times before Scholastic chose to publish her works. The other publishing companies that had turned her down are probably now slapping their faces over the success that they missed from rejecting the stories. I've recently read several children's books published by Scholastic, Simon and Schuster, Harper Collins and Random House and am now wondering of these are where I should attempt to send my diary novel when I decide it's ready. I'm still undecided about the publishing contest at Blydyn Square Books, even though the deadline is at the end of this month. But what other companies publish memoirs? i guess I better find out that one, but probably most of them do.

An article on Writers Digest also looks at the topic of "Writer's Jealousy"and how to cope with it. The author asks the following:

What Are You Jealous Of?

As a writer, I have plenty of jealousy: of talent, of network and of success. The trick to disarming it is to determine which of these applies to you:

• Do you long to be like writers who interact with people you admire? You’re hungering for their network.
• When perusing author websites, are you struck by their lists of publications? You want their success.
• While reading, do you feel like you could never write something on that level? You’re lusting for talent.

Knowledge is power, and understanding the source of such feelings will enable you to pursue your real desires.

I  can't say offhand which of these applies most to me, but I have found myself saying I could never write something as good as what I am reading, so I may be lasting for talent in that case. But I make sure to do what I can and how I do it best for myself. That's where a person's talent lies.

Everyone is different and everything works differently for each person. One just has to see how it works for them alone. But still you can take inspiration from others.