Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Changes to My Novel

I now think I have reworked You Can't Hide From the Teeth as much as I feel is needed. One thing I changed was part of the opening page, redoing a paragraph I have quoted on the blog several times:

... I hate the way I look. Curly dark hair, dull-looking brown eyes and teeth sticking out in all directions…an overbite. It should come as no surprise that my dentist said I need braces. Hearing this triggered my anxiety. I was sure Mom would not be able to afford it and I would have crooked teeth all my life. I’d said that I would gladly skip it, but no such luck. My mom is always working to be able to feed the two of us and now she says has to get a second job so that I can get braces. If Rachel Blair won’t let one thing slide, it’s the fact that my teeth need straightening. “You’ll look and feel so much better,” she’s been trying to convince me. But she will say we can’t afford other stuff, like that new thing called a VCR that allows you to record TV shows to watch later. ...

I have rewritten it as follows:


...I hate the way I look. Curly dark hair, dull-looking brown eyes, short and a bit chubby with chubby cheeks. I won’t be long before I start getting pimples all over my face.

But right now, my teeth are my biggest worry. They were sticking out in all directions, with gaps between them. My dentist said I had an overbite, and it was no surprise to hear him then say, “Martin, you need braces.” I began to panic.

I was sure Mom would not be able to afford braces and I told her that I would gladly skip it, but no such luck. My mom is always working to be able to feed the two of us and now she said may have to get a second job to help pay for my needed orthodontia. If Rachel Blair won’t let one thing slide, it’s the fact that my teeth need straightening. “You’ll look and feel so much better,” she’s been trying to convince me. But she will say we can’t afford other stuff, like that new thing called a VCR that allows you to record TV shows to watch later. ...


As much as I liked how I'd done it originally and how others had thought it was great, I felt I could still do something better. 

I also decided to put a header on each of the dates mentioned in the book (on which it is taking place). Some dates did not originally have a a title header, and  the suggestion to include one came from one of the people in the writers' lab I have been attending (it will be resuming soon after the summer break). I wasn't sure about this suggestion at first, but eventually decided it would be good to do. 

I have also attempted to draw a picture for a book cover. I'm not that great at portraiture, but felt compelled to try just the same. I decided to try this suddenly, on a piece of blue scrap paper that was lying near my computer. 


This is a photocopy of the drawing. It was harder to photograph the original on the blue paper and I have to admit, I don't know who to scan images on my printer! I felt it necessary to include the cat in the drawing as the character is seen talking to the cat several times.

Now I am deciding what to do next with my story...where to attempt to send it and such...

1 comment:

Sandra Cox said...

I echo EC's good luck. Great opening sentence.