Monday, December 25, 2017

Holiday Greetings and Humor

Wishing all a great holiday season.

And something I posted on my blog years ago that I just saw again:

Very funny take on the 12 Days of Christmas on this link: (link is no longer available, sorry)
If you do the math you will find out exactly what "my true love gave to me", and the results are quite disturbing. Upon further inspection you will see that the recipient of these gifts has been given the following quantity of items: 184 birds (which includes 12 fruit-bearing trees), 140 people, and 40 rings. That is a total of 364 gifts, or 376 gifts if you include the pear trees separately.

Where exactly would one go to procure these items?

I doubt your local pet store would have that many birds on hand to purchase. Aside from that, you can't buy people and give them as gifts unless you are a slave merchant.

What kind of band ensemble is this? You have 34 musicians, but you only have a wind and percussion section. Do you know nothing about music!?

What about the ladies and lords? Why are the 30 lords a-leaping? I suspect some type of torture is involved. You also have 36 ladies dancing. That is a suspiciously high number of female dancers. Should we assume that the 36 ladies are Rockettes, or perhaps strippers?

What's with the 40 maids a-milking? I would think they would be too busy cleaning up all of those bird droppings. What are they milking anyway? Maybe the 36 ladies are all pregnant…

The only somewhat sensible gift is the golden rings, but why so many? Unless you are a Hindu goddess with the subsequent arms, hands, and fingers for all of those rings, I would say it's a waste. Who else would benefit from 40 golden rings? Sonic the Hedgehog?

Whoever this "true love" is, I wouldn't trust them to do my holiday shopping.

Very interesting observations. I've often wondered how many gifts there would be altogether (see previous post). Yeah, really a band with only percussion and wind sections. I've often wanted to do a humorous piece like this, but I now don't think could never do any better than this one! Forty rings--I was immediately reminded of a line from the "Schoolhouse Rock" Multiplication Rock for the number six:
See that prince over there? (Yeah!)
The one with the fuzzy hair.
He's got six rings on every finger.
He don't wash no dishes,
Not with 60 diamonds.
Six time ten is 60, ten times six

Wow, that's even more rings than in the Christmas song! Yeah, whoever wears those 40 rings acquired on the 12 days of Christmas won't be washing any dishes either if they are wearing all those gold rings at once!

Yeah, why are we giving birds, people and gold rings as gifts anyway?

1 comment:

Elephant's Child said...

Smiling from the other side of the world.
Thank you - and the happiest and healthiest of holidays to you.